“No. But you came here to talk to me which means in this house, in this moment; I control the conversation.”
He stood straight up and for a moment I thought he was going to leave. He took off his shirt and started to undo his pants and kneeled on the bed prepared to take control. Our entire relationship had been about relinquishing control to him and letting him make decisions that I trusted him to make for us both. I was angry with him still and I wanted to take that out on him this morning. No sooner than he had laid on the bed had I taken him into my mouth. His toes curled almost immediately and I couldn’t find the satiation I wanted quickly enough. He had always liked his head as sloppy and messy as possible and the thought of that turned me on and made me work harder. I felt his hands grab a handful of my hair and as he pushed my head down onto him I felt my throat expanding in ways it never had before. We both moaned with pleasure and tears ran from my eyes. I made an intentionally exaggerated gagging sound and the pleasure on his face when he saw my eyes watering made me slide him back into my mouth. As he got comfortable with the rhythm I stopped and an evil grin flashed across my face.
I rolled over and looked at my phone. It was 9:30am and I had already missed a call today. I rubbed the sleep out of my face and tapped into my call log. The number had no name but one came up clear as day the minute I saw it. A thousand spark of electricity coursed throughout me and I called back the number.
“Hi. Are you ok?”
“Are YOU ok?”
“I’m fine. I saw that you called and you don’t ever call me, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I didn’t get a chance to talk to you at length last night when you reached out so I wanted to check on you to make sure you’re ok.”
“Oh. Thanks for checking, I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound ok.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Ok. Call me if you need anything else.”
I hung up the phone and laid in bed looking up at the ceiling. It’s the strangest thing when lovers become strangers. The call had been from my ex and although I knew I wasn’t ok, we were no longer at a point where being vulnerable and open to him was appropriate. It had been months since we separated and one too many “well intentioned” phone calls and messages had informed me that he had moved on recently. As I closed my eyes and starting drifting off again, the phone rang.
“Are you busy?”
“Just lying in bed. What’s going on?”
“I miss you. I just wanted to tell you that.”
“I miss you too. I don’t know what it’s like for you but it’s weird for me not talking to you like we used to.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s weird for me too. Do you work today?”
“Yeah, later on at my usual time.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way but are you alone right now?”
“Can I see you? I want to…talk.”
I was trying not to make my breathing sound labored but I felt constriction in my chest like never before. Continue reading →
It has been the longest of times since I’ve had a chance to chat with you guys and I wish it was because a whole bunch of amazing things were happening leading up to this post. I actually considered telling you guys about how hard I was working and how this post is the first of many to come because of our extravagant relaunch. Truth is, I was in a rut. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do with this blog anymore, there was A LOT of pressure to finish writing the book and quite frankly it stopped being as much fun as it used to be; so I stopped. I thought about never coming back, I even let my domain expire. But no matter what else I did my naughty little online space was always on my mind. So I started thinking about what direction I wanted to go with S.A.M. and then I thought about the fact that I needed to reintroduce myself to you all. Continue reading →
“Yeah, well don’t. I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“Alright, well go ahead then. Don’t ‘accidentally’ leave with any of my stuff either. Matter of fact, lemme help you move this along quicker.”
I watched him walk over to the closet out of the corner of my eye and start pulling my stuff off of hangers; the red dress I had worn to the gallery opening, the t-shirt I had worn to the first game we went to, the jeans that made him slide his hands into the back pockets as he held me. My anger renewed, I spat the words at him like tobacco.
“Don’t touch my shit. I don’t want any of your raggedy ass clothes anyway. I can pack my own things without your help.”
“Oh? So were they raggedy when you were laying in them the other day or are they just raggedy all of a sudden?”
I love the stories on your blog, they’re so steamy! It’s so great that you’re able to talk so openly about sex and you’re not shy, keep up the great work. I’m writing to you because I have a small problem with my boyfriend. We’ve discovered the wonderful world of dirty talking during sex and well, it’s not so wonderful. At first I thought it was gonna be so sexy and steamy like it is in the movies, but what it really is is him asking me to tell him how big his dick is and how much I like his big dick. Honestly, the problem isn’t the size because he’s *ahem* blessed; it’s the fact that OUR dirty talk is all about HIM. Continue reading →
I love your blog and your stories. As a matter of fact, your stories kind of made me want to write this letter to you. I’m 24 years old and I have trouble getting myself off. I have tried watching porn online but it doesn’t seem to help. I still find myself feeling uncomfortable. I realized that I enjoy watching a lot of threesome videos so I’ve been doing that but I just can’t seem to get off. I rub my clit until I get wet and then I go away from the computer and take out my dildo. It feels good but I never get to the point of orgasm. I’ve only had sex with a few people and I don’t usually cum, but sex has always been enjoyable for me. I started reading your blog and I do feel myself getting aroused when I read your stories but I can never actually cum. Am I doing something wrong? Also, I’m finding my dildo to be boring; do you have a favorite dildo that you enjoy?
A lot has happened since we last spoke. Some of it I can’t tell you, but something very important to me I would like to share. You guys have all been so supportive of me and SAM and I hemmed and hawed over whether or not to do this. For those of you who don’t already know, I’m working on my first book based on the content of my blog. It’s not a collection of stories (cause I love y’all so much I want to give you that), it’s a fictional story about some characters that I have come to absolutely adore while developing them.
Because you all have been so amazing to me, I wanted to embark on this and share it with you. Continue reading →